Everything That Rises Must Converge

Every time I think I am close to stringing a few thoughts together, I get distracted and thoughts go unstrung. This is similar, but not the same as being at loose ends.  I keep being on the verge of cleaning up my room, on the cusp of beginning a big project, but I see now, as I have seen many a time, that anything big takes big effort, and I am better at little efforts.  Hence this blog has become neglected and short shrifted.  The day by day drama of my life is playing out over in blipfoto, where I have faithfully posted a picture a day, plus words, for more than a year.  See http://www.blipfoto.com/grazingllama for those daily ruminations.  But here are supposed to be the big pithier stuff, which seems in short supply. 

The report goes something like this.  Still unemployed.  Do not mind at all.  Looking for work.  It all looks good.  In the meantime, I have discovered almost all jobs create illusions of importance which keep your attention for hoursdaysyearsanddecades, and then when it is over, it is as if it never was.   True of life in general, but at least you get to pick each action item of your nonwork.  I am just amazed by how a whole career is irrelevant as soon as I leave it. 

But never mind.  In the meantime, there is just one distracting day after another, which I have no trouble filling with little nodes of pleasure.  A little eating, then exercise, then music, and gardening and cleaning and art and some job hunting and reading and oh dear it is time to plan dinner and shop and cook and then it is all over until tomorrow.

I embrace work as my feminist right to earn my own living, but after thirty years of this, I have started to see how much of life is lost at work, and question whether we have a decent balance in this country between what we do for money and what we do for love.  Until the money runs out, I'm living it up!