Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The Sky is Falling



It has been more than a month since my last post.  In the meantime, my mundane world has altered.  Although the details are important to me, the fact is, only change is interesting and meaningful, stasis is about nothing.  So why do we so resist change?  Why, even when someone forces upon us the very change we seek, do we recoil against it?

These are the questions I have asked repeatedly, since I was told that my job of the last 29 years is about to be eliminated.   It happened suddenly and nonsensically, surprising and angering.  And even though my job has many positives, it has also been very frustrating and repetitive over the years.  Yet fear of the unknown has kept me here, year after year.


So now I am thrust into the next phase of my life, and yet, I cannot help but grasp at the straws of remaining the same.  There is a chance the downsize may happen some different way, so I focus on that possibility for awhile longer.  There is a chance a different position may be offered, so I hope for that.  However, the better part of me knows I should move over into the new realm of "Life After Legal Aid," and leave the what-ifs behind.  I think I had to write this to make my way over here.

So much of my job is about helping people find palatable solutions to serious problems.  Usually I assist them in getting to the next phase of their lives, and they thank me.  Why then, have I learned so little about making transitions in my own life?  I guess I will try and become my own client for the change that will come.  Here we go.


3 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry to hear that your job is being eliminated. Not onlywill it be hard on you, but it will be hard on our county.

    But change IS the only constant, and writing your way through it is a good solution. You might want to keep a private journal and be unflinchingly honest about what you liked and hated in the old job, to help you find joy in the next stage of your life. There is comfort in routine, repetition, knowing what to expect even if it's boring. There is often a lot of personal identity involved in a job well done. Who am I when I don't know what to do next?

    The photos, by the way, are stunning!!

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  2. You couldn't have a better lawyer. She's seasoned, experienced, sensitive. She listens well and is a great problem-solver. She's ethical. You can rely on her. And she's free. I say go for it.

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  3. I have included you in my prayers. It is difficult when things happen in your life that send you spinning. 29 years is a long time and it is sad that they do not see how valuable you are and recognize your loyalty. It makes no sense. May the Lord Bless you and guide you to good things.
    Maybe we will see you again sometimes in Chrysalis. You always have such great poems to share.

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