Although the internet gives us the ability to know virtually anything we want, I stay away from specific areas where I don't think I can handle the information. I am afraid that if I knew the true state of certain things, I couldn't go on making my little plans, celebrating my little successes. Instead, I would be paralyzed with depression or consumed by anger. Those unknown facts are sensed to be things that I have very little chance of changing, yet are horrible. One of those subject areas for me is "fracking."
Fracking is not a clever way of writing the other "f-word." It is shorthand for a terrible way we are tearing up this country in a gold rush for natural gas. Seduced by good reviews, I watched the movie "Gasland," a documentary about this topic. Although a well-made movie, I am now consumed with rage over our political indifference to the plight of citizens and the land itself, against the thuggery of corporations. But I'm not even going to get into it. If you are interested see the movie or google fracking. Enough said.
In another sad tale, I must report that I once again have gone around the block of dissatisfaction with the organization that employs me. It seems like businesses are exactly like families in the way they can repeat the same argument over and over, without anything new being said. If there were not outside forces pulling us this way and that, we wouldn't be able to change at all. I only have myself to blame of course, for not finding either a way out or another way through the points of contention. But like the topic above, it seems like something I have little control over, and hence the unhappiness it causes.
Perhaps it is just the weather affecting me. Today was the first real rain in about two months. This signals the end of summer and the beginning of our very wet winter. You would think I would have found peace with the changing seasons, but I hate to see the warm weather go.
Roxie sez
ReplyDeleteWe had so little warm weather this year! I'm hoping for a lingering farewell all through October, but I suspect the water year has well and truely started. Too bad for the vintners. A wet fall makes for an indifferent harvest. Lots of weight, little flavor.
On the positive side, the air smells wonderful. And the ducks are dancing with glee over the return of the slugs.
I would argue for a little more self-compassion. It's NOT you to blame for the dysfunction of your workplace: you've looked for another way. Sometimes we can't fix what's wrong (with our families, with our workplaces). Sometimes we just have to endure it and be good to ourselves and others...without blaming ourselves. That's my take on it, anyway. And there's nothing wrong either with being worried about the planet. Who would we be if we weren't worried? We can stick our heads in the sand, or we can worry...and when we're worried, at least we're seeking solutions or improvements. I think you're wise to be worried. And those are some gorgeous tomatoes.
ReplyDeleteI, too, avoid things that would further upset me as I have enough stress in my life without taking the world on my shoulders right now.
ReplyDeleteAnd work,...well, I so enjoy my job and wish they had not cut my hours. I am barely surviving financially as it is.
Rose from Chrysalis
(it would not let me sign in, only post as anonymous)